Be Your Own Valentine ♥️

The late great Whitney Houston sang it best: “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." Oftentimes, preaching about self-love seems to be much easier than practicing it.

During this month when we are bombarded with reminders to shower love on our significant other, let’s not forget to give ourselves that same love and attention. 

Recently, my husband and I took some time to review our love languages with one another. It had been years since we had originally taken the quiz, and we were long overdue for a refresher. We were surprised that our rankings for giving and receiving the different types of love had changed. We also took the time to define what each of the languages actually meant to us, and we were NOT surprised to learn that our definitions were very Mars and Venus.

The conversation got me thinking about how we might be better at loving ourselves by giving ourselves exactly what we know we need. Instead of just relying on or waiting for my partner to speak my love languages, why not also shout them to myself?

As a reminder, the five love languages as defined by Gary Chapman are:

• Words of affirmation

• Quality time

• Physical touch

• Acts of service

• Receiving gifts

Not sure what your love languages are? Take the quiz HERE.

So, I reviewed my rankings and came up with some practical yet meaningful-to-me ideas for how to love myself better with each of the love languages. I'm sharing some suggestions with you below with the hope that you will take the time to give yourself exactly what YOU need this month--and beyond. After all, YOU are worth it.

1. Quality time

   Schedule something you are passionate about but never make enough time for; something you WANT to do, not something you NEED to do. This time can be with a dear friend or time with just yourself to enjoy your own company. For me, it’s going to go to an art museum with a friend. While we are there together, we are comfortable with wandering around solo and connecting with each other at the end of the exhibit or gallery, followed by a lively discussion over a nice meal at a local restaurant.

   
   

2. Physical touch

   Some of you are already getting R-rated, I am betting (no shame in that, but there ARE other ways!). I am a hugger, and I love hugs in return. I recently learned that self-hugging is a thing and that hugging yourself can significantly improve your emotional well-being. A licensed therapist once told me that you can actually calm yourself by holding your own hand. So, you can touch yourself in a G-rated way and in doing so, be your own friend with benefits!

3. Words of affirmation

   Cue Stuart Smalley! Need or want more compliments? Give them to yourself. Channel your inner Beyoncé and talk to yourself in the mirror! When I need a little ego boost, I have a few go-to songs that I play LOUDLY. Whether you state your affirmations silently in your head or out loud and whatever point of view you use, the important thing is that you give yourself the encouragement you need--you know, the kind you would give your best friend.

4. Acts of service

   Do something nice for yourself. Give yourself a facial. Better yet? Have someone else do something nice for you. Book a massage or drop your laundry off at a local laundromat and let someone else fold those sheets!

5. Receiving gifts

   If your budget allows, get yourself that something you have been eyeing. No need to wait for a special holiday or a special someone. In the words of Tom and Donna in Parks and Recreation, "Treat yo self!"  For me, receiving gifts is often uncomfortable. I would much rather treat myself to get exactly what I want. But, if you like getting surprise gifts, send a Giftful wish list to a trusted friend along with some dinero and ask her to purchase one of the items for you, then enjoy getting a surprise present you are sure to love!

Whether you are celebrating Valentine's, Galentine's, or counting the days until the March party holidays of Mardi Gras and St. Patrick's Day roll around, try being the love of your own life this month.

I hope you'll share your ideas and how it goes in the comments! Oh, and subscribe to get notified when the next post is published! ♥️